This week passed by super quick!
The weather´s getting colder, and the days are definitely getting
shorter...
This past week we were working
hard to find that balance between intercambios, scheduled events, leadership
meetings, and trying hard to make our ¨end-of-the-month¨goals a reality.
*Mauricio and Ivana got married
on Friday morning!! They are extremely happy and you can just SEE the
difference in them already.
He did not get baptized because
of some difficulties with his job.... he has had to work Sundays, and so
confirmation wouldn´t be possible... But, he is working with that, and is
planning to be baptized the first or second weekend in June.
*We had a goal to get into one
new house every day, and we nearly completed that goal. We have been working
more with members, and had 6 really good ¨with member¨lessons this week with
friends, family and neighbors that aren´t members. I love working with member
referrals, and the ones we got this week are GOLD!
This week I had an experience
that really impacted me.
The past few months that I´ve
been in this area, I´ve really been focusing on what the Lord wants from me.
What this area needs. What the people need. and how to allow the experiences I
have to help me to become what he wants me to become. It´s not a typical area.
It´s really hard, and a lot of times, the ¨results¨you expect to see aren´t the
ones that come.
Finding new investigators is
tricky... well finding people who will really listen and keep commitments.
President is constantly saying that it´s a miracle if people even let us in
their houses. And that our biggest task after that is getting them to let us
come back. It´s hard sometimes. Sometimes no matter how well the first lesson
goes, they are never home again, they get scared and avoid us, they decide that
they´re ¨fine¨ with how their lives are.... there´s all kinds of things that
keep people from progressing.
This past week for weekly
planning, we were talking about our investigators, the people we are working
with, the reasons why some of them progress and some no... honestly it got to
this point where I was just kind of frustrated and sad. I couldn´t really
explain why... I just felt super low, super confused... like ¨what more could I
be doing? I´ve been here for almost 5 months and I feel like I´ve just about
seen it all...¨ I was beginning to wonder if I just wasn´t learning what the
Lord wanted me to learn.
I finally just started talking
to my comp about how I was feeling about the area. Kind of just thinking out
loud, really. I told her: ¨There are just so many of these people that I have
come to love so much. I´ve seen them go through so much, and I´ve seen how the
gospel can bless their lives. I´ve been there as they´ve said they´ve felt the
spirit. I´ve seen them take those first steps, and seen how things have already
changed so much. I just want them to want it, and want them to do what they
know they need to do. I love them, and I can feel how much the Lord loves them.
Why don´t they see it?¨
I realized in that moment: ¨This
is what Elder Holland meant when he talked about how missionaries, to really
understand the atonement, and how the Savior feels (even if in the smallest
sense)... we have to ¨spend a few moments in Gethsemane....take a few steps
toward Calvary...¨ That is what it means to really see them as He does, to love
them as He would, and to ¨desire their salvation¨.
Now, that is NOT saying that I´m
always perfect at that, but it made me realize that the reason I was sad, the
reason I was frustrated, the reason I felt confused, was because I LOVE THEM. I
love them and I want the best for them, and I want them to want it for themselves.
We went to walmart, and I was
standing there in line to check out, I had this feeling hit me. I all of the
sudden had tears in my eyes, and my comp said ¨What´s wrong?¨And I just told
her, ¨I just love these people!¨I laughed because it seemed silly but at the
same time, I realized that that is what this is all about.
This week we had interviews with
Presidente Ávila. The last ones with him as our mission president! As I walked
into my interview, he asked how I was and honestly the first thing that came to
my mind was ¨I am HAPPY, President.¨ He smiled and nodded, ¨I can see that.¨
and then asked me ¨So tell me... how has it been for Hermana Cox in Dorrego?
What has been the greatest thing you´ve learned? What changes have you seen?¨
I told him how over the past few
weeks, I´ve honestly had some of the most insane growing moments of my entire
mission. How there have been the lowest of lows, but also that the Lord really
has opened my eyes, my mind, and my heart to the greatness of this opportunity
that I have to be a missionary. My time here in Dorrego has been really
distinct. I have learned so much, and I´m grateful to know that the Lord knows
his children so personally.
I´ve been focusing a lot lately
on the whole concept of ¨In the world but not OF the world.¨ How we, as
missionaries, are So different. We are special. We have a calling like no
other. A power that we have been given to fulfill this, the Lord´s work. He
sends us out at this time, to change us as much as, if not even more than, the
people we find and teach here. We are literally ¨set apart¨from the things of
this world to be on a higher level, to turn ourselves over to him and allow him
to work with us in that ¨higher order¨
I´ve thought a lot about the
ways I´ve changed, the things I´ve learned, the qualities that I am able to
strengthen from my experiences here. The change i´ve seen in myself from the
beginning to even now is huge. I´ve thought about the reason the Lord chooses
18,19,20,21 + KIDS to do this work. Honestly there could be a lot more
¨success¨ if they sent out people with more ¨experience¨ who were trained as
teachers, fluent in another language, good public speakers. But as always, the
Lord´s plan is perfect.
He knows what things await us in
the future. What awaits us in the ¨real world¨, what awaits our families, our
kids. He knows the kinds of people he needs to be to be leaders, and more
importantly, the parents of the future generations. This is our preparation for
the rest of our lives....the eternities.
I know that this time is
priceless in teaching us, growing us, molding us for what lies ahead. To give
us capacities and help us grow in ways that aren´t possible in any other way.
I´m often overwhelmed with gratitude to my Padre Celestial for giving me this
great opportunity. For knowing me well enough to know that this is exactly what
I needed at this time in my life. It´s amazing what he can teach us, show us,
and help us to become if we give him our all, serve with our all, and allow him
to change us. Not just for now, but for ever.
I love this work. Sometimes it´s
honestly painful how much is asked of us. But in the end nothing he ever asks
of us can even compare with the amazing way that he blesses us in every aspect
of our lives. I´ve said it before, but I´ll say it again...
Coming on a mission is the best
decision I´ve made in my life.... FOR my life.
I hope you all know how much I
love you, miss you, yes, but how much I´m loving and making the most of my time
here. It´s short, and there´s a lot that goes into every day. But honestly I
wouldn´t trade it for anything.
I´m happy and I know it.
Love you all so much! I hope you
have a great week!
xoxox Your Hermana C
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